Donald Trump‘s transportation secretary Sean Duffy wants to improve airports, announcing $1 billion in funding for grant programs on Monday. In a press conference for his “Make Travel Family Friendly Again” initiative, Duffy suggested possible additions for airports, all of which The Daily Show‘s Ronny Chieng went through with a fine-toothed comb.
For starters, Duffy suggested, “Maybe you want to have a different lane for families to get through TSA.”
“How are you the transportation secretary?” Chieng said. “Your big idea is the same one every annoyed dad has at the airport. ‘Hey, just open another lane!'”
Next, Duffy proposed expanding play areas for kids at airports.
“Yeah, expand the airport play areas. Those things are basically pandemic laboratories,” said Chieng. “Hey, I have an idea, how about every kid from around the world gets together and swaps viruses before they get on a new flight?”
Finally, Duffy recommended “a workout area where people might get some blood flow and doing some pull ups or some step ups in the airport.”
“You think people want to work out in transit at the airport?” asked Chieng. “Everyone at the airport is already exhausted from traveling, alright? We can’t even walk to the gate, you had to invent floors that walk for us. Also, this is the same guy who wants us to dress up when we fly. So what, now I’m doing pull ups in a tuxedo before I jump on a 12-hour flight to Hawaii? Why don’t you just throw in a hot yoga room in the terminal so everyone really smells like shit when they board the plane?”
